How to know when it’s over

It’s always so bizarre when you have a boyfriend who becomes your best friend, because when you break up suddenly you have all of this extra free time that you don’t know what to do with. It’s like getting fired from a job that you weren’t really getting paid to go to every day. What do you do? What do you do with all of those photos of the two of you on your Instagram drafts you were saving to release? Who do you send all of those funny memes to now?

Diet coke is my guilty pleasure..but I don’t believe in feeling guilty about indulging in the things you love. I allow myself to drink the diet coke on occasion. However, I don’t indulge in actual coke. I believe that’s called balance.

I was in a relationship that people couldn’t wait to be over. Still I fought through it, cast away all my doubts and dived in to it anyway. Despite what people thought, I went with my heart. I think it’s important to experience life. To go after your soul’s desires, regardless of other people’s opinions. So when the relationship ends, I think you need to let yourself grieve. Allow yourself to feel sad. Cry it out. Give yourself that.

Breakups are funny, because one night you’re crying yourself to sleep feeling like you’re drowning and the next week you’re listening to Rihanna’s song “Needed me” feeling like the unstoppable woman you are and remembering that  you can make anything happen.

So how do you know when it’s over? How do you know when to bury the hatchet, let them go and set yourself free

I think when it starts to weigh on you. Like you carry that person’s heart and it becomes to heavy to hold. When you’d rather not go out of your way to see them anymore and you’d rather be at home alone. I can’t believe how cold someone could be who once told you they loved you. I guess that’s how you knows it’s over. When you feel alone even though you have someone. When you love them, but you’re not in love with them. And sometimes, it’s over before it ever even started.

I believe in love and I believe in soul mates. Sometimes you love someone and you understand. You understand even when it’s hard because when you look at them you see yourself. You’re one in the same. It’s a cycle of intense emotions. It’s maddening. It’s tempting. It’s exciting. It’s magnetic and electric. But sometimes you have to walk away. Sometimes you have to leave someone you love. And no matter how bad you want to be with them you just can’t. And that’s okay. You’ll find someone else, and so will they. It’ll be better. It’ll be more consistent. Simpler and easier. It’ll be like Sunday morning waking up and pouring your coffee. But you’ll always remember that time you fell in love and found yourself caught in the eye of a hurricane.

 

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