There’s a whole in my heart and it’s not fair. I lost my best friend. I lost who I did everything with, and in that I lost myself too. I have to bury every “I love you” and every thought for the future. I have to mourn not only the loss of you, but who I needed you to be.
You told me you loved me, you said you would forever and then a few months later you say “sometimes you have to let the things you love go”
I hate hearing “get over someone” because I never want to get over him. I want to carry that weight. I never want him to feel nothing when he thinks of me, and I never not want to feel everything when I think of him. I want to be comforted by the idea that he could come back. That we could meet up for coffee one day and everything would be good and we’d be something great. I keep checking my phone, hearing it ring, and hoping that it’s him.
You told me that this was like nothing you ever felt before. And that’s how I feel. I’ve never felt such strong intense emotions.
I want that love back
I know it’ll be okay, because I need it to be. But until then I’ll keep wearing your clothes and remembering everything, every moment I got with you and hoping that one day you’ll be what I need you to be.
My friend told me something that hurt me, but also set me free, he said”quit looking for the one” he told me, “it’s not about being right for someone, it’s about mutual effort to make it work.” It’s true, I think I’m always looking for the one, but I think what I need is to just be alone. I’m learning that I can be the one. The one that I care for and love with everything I have…what I would have been giving to you. Breakups are beautiful. They are sad and empowering. They make me feel empty and lonely. But they also force me to really take a look at myself and see my life for what it really is. It allows me to tell myself the truth. To reinvent myself. To be selfish with myself. And to have the time to create the life I truly want.
I always want you but I know that I need to want myself too. I need to love myself enough to be strong and courageous and do what I am made to do.
My mom used to sing me that song when I was a baby “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine….” whenever I was crying and I like to think that I am warm and I have a light in me like the sun.
You are the one, my only sun